Hi Ho it's Twinkie the Kid

Friday 10 February, 2012

Sometimes I feel like I've got Twinkie the Kid on my shoulder telling me what to eat. Check this out. I love eating at Chili's Grill & Bar. A typical meal there for me might be the original baby back ribs. Yum. I love them. They are served with french fries and I usually sub a corn cob for the baked apples.

But Twinkie the Kid doesn't stop there. Before that I usually enjoy a chips & queso appetizer. Yum. I love the chips & queso, and the salsa too, and when I really want to splurge, I might let Twinkie The Kid talk me into a chocolate chip paradise pie for dessert. Yum yum yum. Probably my favorite dessert in any restaurant. Plus I don't share very well, so mostly I eat it all by myself.

There's only two problems with any of that. First, it's enough food for three days for me, or it's enough food for at least five people for one meal. 4275 calories worth of food. Wow. Second, it's the wrong things for me to be eating. For me it's about seven days worth of carbohydrates (I try to stay between 60 - 100 carbs per day), or enough carbs for twenty-two people for one meal like I should be eating. 447 carbs. Not counting the ketchup for the fries. Wow. My blood glucose is rising and I'm getting fat just writing about this and Twinkie the Kid is sitting on my shoulder and laughing.

I want my baby backs baby backs baby backs baby backs

People are always telling me "it should be easy for you to lose weight or stay slim with all the riding you do." Sure. I don't let them know how I eat. Ride enough for one person but eat enough for three. At least three. They don't know about Twinkie the Kid. So I can sure stand to measure stuff so it can improve and consider my lifestyle instead of diet. I could absolutely stand to eat less. For sure. I usually do eat breakfast but I could certainly make it a more powerful breakfast. Of course I exercise because if I didn't I would probably weigh 280 pounds. Or more.

08:32 - Snick. Beep. 105 mg/dL still not under 100. I have taken the girls to school and my 3 year old talked me into a trip to Maverick. The wife is going to be upset when she reads this. Seems my 3 year old wanted a wienie wrap for breakfast. It was a quick conversation with him and me and Twinkie the Kid and an easy decision to say yes because I wanted one too but they only had one left so I got it for him and built myself a chili cheese dog with chipotle mayo and pico de gallo. To my credit I only have one here now. Not three like I normally get. Oh, and 5 units of NovoLog insulin. I'm trying to eat less. Unfortunately while I'm obeying Fitness Rule #3 I'm breaking:

Fitness Rule #6: Eat less crap.

Or I guess the rule could read: don't eat garbage. Or limit the garbage you eat. Remember that food is fuel for our bodies and that is all it is. The reality of the situation is that, just like with cars and planes and other things that run on fuel, our bodies run better on some fuels than it does on others. I want to encourage you to use the good stuff. You will live longer and be more fit and maintain the perfect weight for you much easier if you eat less crap - no matter what Twinkie the Kid says.

I would say a chili cheese dog from Maverick qualifies as crap. I don't think anyone would place it in the health food category. I'm not quite sure where it fits on the FDA's food pyramid or whatever schematic they are using now-a-days. I don't pay much attention to the government when they tell me what I should be eating because usually they are wrong. When I see their guidelines or the American Diabetes Association's guidance for diabetics, frankly, my eyes can't quite roll far enough back in my head. I wonder if Twinkie the Kid is running those outfits?

Over the years as the FDA has been changing what they tell us we should be eating. Unfortunately we have been listening and while we've been listening we have been getting fatter and fatter. More unhealthy too. Diabetes is running rampant now. Obesity is too along with heart disease and other chronic diseases. So if you want to be fat and unhealthy follow their Twinkie the Kid guidelines and other common myths that are out there about food and health. If you want to lose weight and be fit you can follow my advice instead.

13:56 - Snick. Beep. 107 mg/dL. Not bad after a chili cheese dog as big as my head. For lunch I'm going to obey Fitness Rule #6. I'm not going to eat crap. I have a big iceberg lettuce salad topped with one slice of provolone and some Italian dressing made with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. A portion of white rice is usually 1 cup. There's some left over rice so I portion out 1/4 cup and top that with the remaining 2 ounces of low-carb diabetic loaf of meat (diced up), 7 steamed and sliced baby carrots and 1/2 cup of mufaletta spread all heated up in a bowl. Twinkie the Kid must be taking a nap. That's a good lifestyle lunch and it tastes a lot like Cuban Picadillo due to the abundance of olives in the mufaletta spread. 33 carbs and 3 units of NovoLog insulin.

shop these aisles (80%)

Shop the outside aisles - Everything in this healthy lunch came from an outside aisle in the grocery store. Next time you're there, look at your basket. Where did you get your stuff from? What's going into your pantry? What is in your fridge and freezer? I like to apply the 80/20 rule at the grocery store, or when looking in the pantry, fridge or freezer. 80% of the stuff you have should come from an outside aisle in the grocery store. Limit yourself to 20% coming from the rest of the store. As a general rule, the rest of the store is crap. The rest of the store is twinkies. Garbage fuel.

boxed crap is crap not matter how it's marketed

You CAN judge a food by it's cover - How is the stuff you eat packaged? Did it come in a box? A wrapper? A can? Was it frozen? Really think about this. Don't be fooled by marketing. If it comes in a box it is probably garbage. If it comes in a wrapper (bread, cookies, twinkies, soup mix, etc.) it is probably garbage. Does it have a huge shelf life? Like a twinkie? Avoid it. Look at the labels on some of this stuff. Learn what a portion is and see what's in there. Can you pronounce the ingredients? How many different kinds of sugars are in there? Basically just try to avoid things that come in a box or wrapper or have a massive shelf life because as a general rule it is crap. Garbage fuel.

Eat this not that - Isn't there an app for that at restaurants? Eat this not that. It's interesting stuff and you can apply that kind of thinking to what you eat at home too. Do you have a choice between certified organic fresh green beans, fresh regular green beans, pickled green beans, fermented green beans, frozen green beans, canned green beans and dehydrated freeze dried green bean powder? Yes you do. Make the smart choice. On a separate note, is a food you're buying for home fortified? Don't you wonder why the company that packaged it or wrapped it had to fortify it? I do. Learn about your food so you're not eating crappy twinkie garbage fuel.

Fat is not the enemy - Your body needs dietary fat. It lubricates the joints and does other really healthy things in your body that can't be done without it. Fat doesn't necessarily make you fat. Eating more calories than you need is what makes you fat whether those calories come from fat, carbs or protein. There's good fat and bad fat and you should try to limit the bad fat because it can kill you but the good fat you need. Fat like eggs and avocados and fatty fish. Learn about fat and make sure you get enough of the healthy fat that your body has to have to function properly. Some kinds of fat are good for you and some kinds of fat is crappy twinkie garbage fuel.

not these aisles (20%)

Carbs are not the enemy - I know that's hard to believe coming from a type 1 diabetic. For me carbs are the enemy. For you they probably are not. Carbs don't necessarily make you fat. Eating more calories than you need is what makes you fat whether those calories come from fat, carbs or protein. Does that sound familiar? It should. As a general rule however, we eat WAY too many carbs and there's a reason for that. They taste good. Like twinkies. Carbs are our snacks most times. They're convenient. They fit in our hand. We can eat them in the car or on the couch. We eat crap and garbage out of boxes and bags and not just for snacks but for meals too.

You don't need as many carbs as the experts say you do - If your eating off the governments pyramid you're going to get fat. The pyramid is a carb fiesta designed by Twinkie the Kid. Bread, rice, whole grain this and that, fruits, potatoes, dairy and there's even a category for twinkies. You don't need all that crap. If you're a normal person you don't need more than 80 to 100 carbs per day. And if you can get that from vegetables you will be doing yourself a favor. Need fiber? Vegetables. Need vitamins? Vegetables. Need minerals? Vegetables. Need to loose weight? Vegetables.

the "experts" behind the food pyramid?

Carbs make your blood glucose go up quickly. Even if you don't have diabetes, carbs are going to spike your blood glucose. When that happens your pancreas will flood your blood stream with insulin, usually over reacting to the need. Your body can only use so many carbs at a time, plus it makes a lot of it's own glucose so you don't need more carbs than you actually need to make it from your food. Don't let Twinkie the Kid fool you. All that extra gets stored in your fat cells and those fat cells become bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger.

persuasive guy

If you're going to eat carbs - and you do need to eat some carbs - make them quality carbs that are doing good things for your health. Vegetables are carbs and carbs turn to glucose but the carbs in vegetables process much slower than carbs in crap and garbage and twinkies and other carbs that come in a wrapper or a box because carbs in vegetables come in cellulose and your digestive system needs that fiber to clean out toxins and waste and vegetable carbs won't spike your blood glucose nearly as much. Vegetables are good carbs. Most other carbs are crap twinkie garbage fuel.

Protein is not the enemy - Your body needs protein. It cannot live without it. Your body can make some amino acids itself but for some it has to get them from the protein you eat. I like to eat animals personally. So I eat a lot of animals. Protein doesn't necessarily make you fat. Eating more calories than you need is what makes you fat whether those calories come from fat, carbs or protein. Might as well eat good protein though. Things like fish and other seafood, chicken and other fowl, beef, pork and don't forget bacon. Bacon is the king of meat. Some things that aren't animals also have protein. Tofu. Soy. Beans. They're fine too and you should try to mix them in as well.



garbage can

Think about your body's fuel - Think about this stuff. Watch and see what your habits are the next time you go shopping or eat or think you need a snack. Pick the good stuff. Shop the outside isles. Remember the 80/20 rule about your food. You have choices, so make them. Don't let Twinkie the Kid make them for you. Make them good choices. If you're going to eat some crap, make it better crap. Spaghettios or whole grain pasta with homemade meat sauce? Let me put that another way: Sugar with sugar sauce (not even mystery meat) or Sugar with meat you picked out from the butcher and fresh vegetables that you grew in your back yard? One is better crap than the other crap. There is always a choice to make. Choose better crap.

Make choices that reduce calories - I'm not talking about using fat-free mayonnaise versus regular mayonnaise. I choose regular. I think it tastes better. I don't use reduced fat or fat free of low fat anything. I like real food thank you and if I'm going to eat some food I do want to enjoy it. I'm talking about things like choosing mustard over mayonnaise. The difference in calories and fat will astound you. Choosing salsa over ketchup. Choosing olive oil over lard. Choosing good fat over bad fat. Choosing to make my own guacamole with fresh avocados instead of buying it already made. Choosing homemade triple chocolate gingerbread cake over twinkies.

I'm also talking about choosing to reduce the amount of food. Most recipes can use about half the sugar or cheese or anything else that can be reduced to cut out some of the unnecessary calories. Choose to reduce and experiment with your recipes. Substitute this for that. Figure out what choices you can make that will keep you healthy while still enjoying the foods you like. A good example is bacon. I love bacon but I can choose not to eat the whole package at one time. I rarely make that choice but it is a choice I could make if Twinkie the Kid would let me.

Be stupid smart - If you're going to do stupid things, be smart about it. Snacks are a good example. If you really believe that you cannot possibly make it through the next hour or two until your next small plate peace sign meal and you have tried a glass of water and a chewable vitamin C and now you're sucking on a whole clove but you just won't make it - fine have a snack. Snack on some celery, or a string cheese or green or red pepper rings or baked kale chips or pickled cauliflower or some olives or pickles or a cucumber. Be stupid smart. If you're going to let Twinkie the Kid talk you into breaking the Fitness Rules, at least be smart about it.

15:23 - I fill my bidon with water after my wife gets home and I'm getting ready to get my new(er) bike upstairs and prepare for a ride. I get upstairs to round up my kit and start chatting with the wife for a bit. Twinkie the Kid points out the bed. The bed looks so comfortable. I decide to take a nap instead of going for a ride. No ride today. Twinkie the Kid and I will rest instead.

16:05 - I lay down at an angle across the bed on my stomach on top of the comforter. My wife says she's getting me up in an hour. I am off to sleep in a matter of moments.

18:02 - My wife's generous hour turns into two and now she's in here to wake us up. We're going out for dinner to Chili's Grill & Bar. She won a $25 gift card to Chili's today for her superstar performance at work and Twinkie the Kid must have been talking to her too. Um, no. Not Chili's. Not this week. Not now. We talk it over and decide on Sizzler. The steak and all-you-can-eat salad bar is on special at $9.99 and our 6 year old has a free kid's meal coupon for doing a good job of reading in Kindergarten. Sizzler it is. Twinkie the Kid and I get up and get ready.

18:52 - Snick. Beep. 92 mg/dL. Nice number. I pack my NovoLog insulin pen and a needle and we are off to the Sizzler. I sub broccoli for the friesorpotatosorricecarbs to go along with my 6 ounce sirloin. I start with a salad of mixed greens and spinach, onion, cabbage, and shredded carrots. Balsamic vinaigrette tops it off.

I feel like I'm on a roll. I ignored Twinkie the Kid as I safely navigated the free samples of cheesy garlic bread they were passing out at the entrance due to the long line and I feel like I have positively made up my mind that I'm not going to eat any of the bread based carb stuff available tonight. Twinkie the Kid and I wanted a baked potato with shovel fulls of butter and sour cream really really bad but I asked for broccoli instead. I'm going to try to eat less crap.

rare devil's food twinkie
...the one on my shoulder

When my steak and broccoli are gone and I've finished off my salad I think to myself that that is about the perfect amount of fullness and I should stop now. But I don't. Twinkie the Kid reminds me that there's just something about going to an all-you-can-place. At least for us. I feel like I've got to eat all I can eat. If I don't I would be letting the whole concept of all-you-can-eat down. So I hit the salad bar again.

My goal on this second trip is to eat less crap too. No nachos or pasta or pizza or rolls or heavily breaded chicken wings and even no mystery meatballs. I build a nice spinach salad with some red onions, carrot shreds and cabbage. This time I find some kidney beans and some cheese. I also round up a couple of fresh pepper rings, 2 cucumber slices and a few pieces of fajita chicken. I grab a soup bowl and fill it up with pickled cucumber salad. Last but not least, at Twinkie the Kid's insistence, I grab some "crab" salad.

I eat all of the spinach salad but leave a little of everything else and a lot of the "crab" salad in my effort to eat less. I wander over to the salad bar again in hopes of finding a ripe avocado. I inadvertently hit the jackpot and find two. While I'm there Twinkie the Kid talks me into grabbing a half bowl of clam chowder that we discovered on my last trip up here. Walking back, we take a look at the desert bar and I know right then that I'm going to be back up here again tonight. One more time.

I do go back and mustering all the moderation I can, I lay a brownie corner in a bowl. I squirt a little bit of ice cream on there and top it with a little bit of sugary strawberry juice and even a few slivers of strawberries. A big little drizzle of chocolate syrup and I'm back at the table sitting down to dessert. When I'm done eating it, Twinkie the Kid points out how small it seemed compared to what dessert usually means for me. Eating less crap is hard work.

I want to stop. I try to stop but instead I make it up to the buffet one more time. I go grab a couple of slices of fresh pineapple and a slice of cantaloupe. Walking away I decide on a little sprig of red grapes too. This should do it. Right? Hopefully the family will be ready to go soon or I might end up over doing it. I have injected 8 units of NovoLog insulin in anticipation of eating about half of what I end up eating and while I didn't eat less I feel like my blood glucose will be OK(ish) because I did eat less crap.

23:50 - Snick. Beep. I'm curious. I don't normally check my serum glucose this time of night but tonight I'm curious. 120 mg/dL. Not normal but not bad considering that my stomach left dinner pretty darn full. Twinkie the Kid wants some popcorn tonight but there will be no popcorn tonight as I inject my 15 units of Lantis insulin. I'm going to bed and sleep off the collateral damage from fighting the battle of the law of large numbers at dinner. Tomorrow's a new day. Hopefully I can not only eat less crap but eat less too. And maybe exercise a bit instead of a nap. Twinkie the Kid smiles. Hi Ho! Yep tomorrow's a new day pardner.

Hard Core

Thursday 9 February, 2012

08:40 - Snick. Beep. 109 mg/dL. Still not under 100. The real goal for me is to be under 90 in the morning but I have not been there very often. There's many different schools of thought out there about what serum glucose should be but I believe in tight control. I need tight control because I don't have good discipline and self control when it comes to food. That makes living a long time without super major complications a lot tougher than it would be if I had some self discipline.

My 8 year old is back at school and all better now except for one bloodshot eye. I guess the looming specter of missing last night's pizza party was all it took to facilitate instant healing. Well, that and $20 for the doctor to tell us that nothing is wrong now. So the house is back to normal and there's even more eggs in the fridge this morning. Oddly enough, when I'm at the fridge getting the eggs, I notice a brand new gallon of apple juice sitting right next to the gallon of milk with the sugar-free chocolate syrup stuck right there between them. Funny how I couldn't find it a couple of nights ago.

I fry one egg and decide to get the scale out and see what 1 ounce of shredded cheddar really looks like. I want to know how much I've been over doing it all these years. To my surprise, I've been under doing it actually. By about half. So today I'm going to celebrate and actually melt 1 ounce of shredded cheddar on my egg and top it with 2 Tbsp of salsa. I grab my last Carbmaster yogurt and I know that I'm probably going to be sharing it with my boys.

This is a 5 gram of carbs breakfast and I debate whether or not to inject any NovoLog insulin at all and finally decide on 1 unit. I'm not really sure if 1 unit is actually a functional injection or not but I'm a little gun shy this morning and don't want to over do it. I've got nothing planned today. I may or may not ride on the trainer. I may or may not work out. I'm still sore from the last two days and I know that I'm leaning much more strongly toward the may not than the may so in my mind I'm just figuring on the may not. That's funny too because today I'm going to talk about:

Fitness Rule # 5: Exercise.

Before we discuss exercise I want to mention that I'm not a doctor. I don't even play one on TV and it's been a long long time since I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express. So when in doubt check it out. If you have any doubt about your ability to safely exercise go see your doctor and find out. I think I'm a pretty normal guy. Average height and average weight. Nothing I can do is too exceptional so I think my advice is going to be for normal people too. You have to decide if you're normal or not.

Exercise will make you a much healthier person that can live a much more functional life a lot longer than if you don't exercise. Fitness is defined differently for everyone, so you have to decide what fitness for you is and how fit you want to be. A little time with a certified personal trainer can help you immensely with that. Fitness does not take a lot of time. But it can. Fitness should and can be something you enjoy. Yes it is work but it's worth the work. You are worth the work.

First let me say that there is a monstrous amount of information out there about fitness and working out and exercising so I'm not going to reinvent the wheel here. What I am going to do is share some of my strong opinions on the subject. If you can barely reach over and grab the remote without getting out of breath and working up a sweat, or if you are already a total fitness freak, I believe that I have valuable information for you here.

First let me say what exercise is not. Exercise is not parking further away from WalMart so you can walk 64 extra steps today.  Exercise is not gardening or mowing the lawn or vacuuming or doing the dishes. Exercise is not letting the dog out in the back yard and standing out there with him for 10 minutes playing fetch. Exercise is not picking up the dog poop either. And it's not changing poopie diapers or chasing the kids around the house. Those things are life. Not exercise.

I don't believe in recreation for exercise either. Bowling is not exercise. Neither is darts or taking the kids swimming. Golf is not exercise and neither is dawdling around on a bicycle. Even things like walking and rollerblading and throwing the Frisbee might not and probably won't be exercise. If you can comfortably wear makeup and perfume while doing it, it's probably not exercise. No need to pretend. No need to fool yourself. Recreation is fine and fun and it will contribute to your health but recreation is not exercise.

Exercise requires sacrifice - I'm not talking about no pain no gain. I'm talking about a time commitment, however small. I'm talking about some difficulty. Stress. Exercise should stress and strain your muscles and your lungs and your circulatory system. It should be hard. Hard core might be a better word for it. Exercise should be hard core. I'm not talking about screaming and grunting, but it should make you feel like doing that. There should be sweat and plenty of it. If you are going to exercise you need to push yourself. Each time. You have to commit to the sacrifice of pushing yourself each and every time. Exercise without pushing yourself is wasted exercise. So have some respect for yourself. Sacrifice and push yourself because you are worth it and your family deserves it.

who's burning fat?

To lose weight build muscle - Fat doesn't burn fat. Muscle burns fat. If you want to lose weight you need to or should burn fat. Most of us have plenty of it. The best way to burn fat is sleeping. At least it's the easiest most enjoyable way that I know of. I'm not saying that sleeping is exercise. I'm just saying that if you build muscle you will burn more fat all the time, every day, and all day long. To build muscle you have to apply stress to those muscles so that they adapt by becoming larger and stronger.

A lot of women are reluctant to build muscle because they don't want to look like a man freak. Fair enough. Let me assure you that you will not look like that. I promise that your muscles won't become too big or look odd in any way. Just like me, you probably don't have that kind of genetic potential. Trust me, you've got nothing to worry about just like I have nothing to worry about. I've been lifting weights for the last 29 years and I have yet to develop man freak muscles. I still have all my soft gentle curves and you will keep yours too.

To lose weight build the big muscles - Everyone knows a little bit about muscles and where some of them might be but it doesn't have to be too complicated. You don't have to know what a bicep is or even a bicep brachii. It doesn't matter if you know what obliques are or how many heads you have in your calf muscles. Burning fat is real simple: you need to build the big muscles starting with the legs.

Your biggest baddest fat burning muscles are in your legs so you've got to work your legs. Next is the back and chest. You don't need to call them anything, just work your back and chest. We're not going to worry about our deltoids or triceps or traps and we're not even going to worry about our core. All of that will take care of itself when you build the big muscles. To build the big muscles you need to do resistance training. Some people call it lifting weights. Some people call it working out. I call it exercise. Hard core exercise.

To build the big muscles work hard core - I'm talking to the point of failure hard. It should be uncomfortable. it should hurt. In a good way. Take your effort right up to that very moment where effort is no longer possible. When you stop doing what you're doing, there should be no doubt in your mind that you couldn't have done it any more. And you shouldn't be able to do it again. Work hard. Work hard core. You deserve it.

FAQs

the straight arm plank

What kind of exercise should I do? What ever you enjoy. I like cycling and I also work on building my big muscles. You can walk or run or jog or cycle too. It doesn't matter. Just don't confuse life with exercising. Don't confuse recreation with exercising either. Try to be well rounded. Don't just lift weights. Don't just do yoga. Don't just do the elliptical. Do a variety of things. Just do them hard core. Push yourself hard. If you're not pushing yourself hard your exercise quickly regresses back to recreation and then your recreation quickly regresses back to just being life. What have you really accomplished?

I don't like gyms what can I do? You can do plenty. I've never had a gym membership. And I don't have much equipment. One of my favorite workouts is carrying my 1 year old up and down the three floors of stairs in my house.Then I get my 3 year old on my back and carry him up and down the stairs. Then I get my 6 year old on my back and carry her up and down the stairs. Last I get my 8 year old on my back and carry her up and down the stairs until I can't make it up a flight of stairs any more. Then I get my 6 year old back on my back and keep going until I can't take another step, then the 3 year old, then the one year old. It's one of the hardest and most fun "workouts" I have ever done. Try it - I triple dog dare you.

body weight squats

You don't need weights. Use water filled milk jugs taped shut, or 40 pound bags of solar salt. Or you can get a nice set of multi-select dumbbells like I have. I've got a barbell too and some plates but I don't use a bench. If I need something like a bench I use an exercise ball. That way I'm working my core too. One thing you will need eventually is a way to do a chin-up. For me its a chin-up bar hanging in the kids' playroom door. Drives my wife nuts, but you've eventually got to have one. Just for the reminder if nothing else.

I hate lifting weights. Do I really have to do that? Well, yes and no. You have to work your muscles hard against resistance. You can lift your own weight or the weight of your kids. Or you can actually lift weights. It's up to you.

I hate aerobics. Do I really have to do that? No. You don't have to, but it will build up your respiratory and circulatory system and make you more fit. If you work out with weight a certain way you can be aerobic most of the time anyway, but does it really hurt that bad to mix in a 30 minute walk or spin on the bike or go for a short run?

I'm a fat slob and can barely get up off the couch. How do I start? You (and everyone else too) should start right here:

wall sit

The 5 minute (hard core) workout - do the straight arm plank and hold it with good form for 90 seconds. Immediately do a wall sit  and hold it with good form for 90 seconds. That's it. Really.

Do this hard core workout in the order listed. Work your way up to doing this 3 times a week with good form, holding that form for 90 seconds. When you have reached that level of fitness, advance to doing it 5 days a week. If you master that level of fitness, move up to doing it until failure. If you can't do a straight arm plank start on your elbows or elbows and knees. Google these exercises. There is a ton of information.

I scoff at you! I'm a little beyond your 5 minute workout. What can I do? First of all, have you tried it? It may sound easy but it's hard core. It's plenty hard and will push you. You can stick with it for the rest of your life and be plenty fit. Try it before you scoff and decide you need to move on. I triple dog dare you. But if you really do need more that's fine. Try this:

The 15 minute (hard core) workout - Warm up with 30 solid hard core minutes of aerobic activity. I use cycling on a trainer and then complete the following resistance training exercises:

• Dumbbell (or milk jug or solar salt) squat. Do 1 set of 20 reps
• Push ups. Do 2 sets to failure back to back with chin-ups.
• Chin-ups. Do 2 sets to failure back to back with push ups.
• Dead lift. Do 1 set of 20 reps.
• Straight arm plank. Hold with good form for 90 seconds.
• Wall sit. Hold with good  form for 90 seconds.

dumbbell squat press

That's phase one. Some things of note: Do this hard core workout in the order listed. For the squats and dead lifts use a weight you cannot quite do 20 reps with and go to failure until you can do 20 reps and then increase the weight slightly until you cannot quite do 20 reps again. You should spend no time resting between these exercises. Move from one to the other as fast as you can. When you do the reps, they should feel slow and controlled. Use perfect form. No momentum. Hard core. Focus on what your muscles are doing and how they are feeling. This routine should take no more than 15 minutes. Do this routine no more than 3 times a week. You can stick with this for the rest of your life or after 6 to 8 weeks move on up to phase two:

• Dumbbell squat press. Do 2 sets of 12 reps back to back with push ups and chin-ups.
• Push up. Do 2 sets to failure back to back with squat press and chin-ups.
• Chin-ups. Do 2 sets to failure back to back with squat press and push ups.
• Alternating stiff leg dead lift and regular dead lift combined with upright barbell row. Do one set of 12 reps.
• Straight arm plank. Hold with good form for 90 seconds.
• Wall sit. Hold with good  form for 90 seconds
• Hanging knee raise. Hold good form for 90 seconds.

That's phase two. Use the same hard core principles and hard core guidelines as per phase one and do this for another 6 to 8 weeks. After that you can go back to the 5 minute (hard core) workout and start the process over. Remember no rest between sets and slow, controlled and perfect form. If this becomes mundane for you, then it's time to hit the library and build yourself a new hard core workout with all the knowledge you can gain there. Or drop me an email and I will send you my phase three.

If you employ my hard core opinions about exercise in your war against fat you WILL lose weight. You will also enjoy a high level of fitness and all of the other wonderful benefits that exercise can shine into your life. Just remember that exercise requires sacrifice. If it gets easy for you, you are not working hard core enough and it has devolved from exercise to recreation and will soon devolve again to life. It won't be exercise anymore and you will be breaking Fitness Rule #5. You will quickly find yourself gaining weight and becoming much less fit. Find or invent a new workout. Always remember to build the big muscles by working them hard core. Everything else will take care of itself.

12:51 - Snick. Beep. 115. I guess I needed 2 units of insulin at breakfast. Lunch is more leftovers. 2 ounces of low-carb diabetic loaf of meat atop a piece of cheese toast with 1 ounce of shredded cheddar. That was topped with 2 Tbsp of muffaletta spread. Rounding out this peace sign small plate meal was a cup of steamed broccoli, 7 steamed baby carrots and 5 units of NovoLog insulin to go with the 40 grams of carbs.

19:06 - Snick. Beep. 107. Tonight is soup night. 1 and 1/2 portions of Hot & Sour Soup which will include one egg and a huge salad with 1 ounce of shredded cheddar, some sliced onion, sliced green onion and about 4 Tbsp of muffaletta spread topped with Italian dressing. I need 3 units of insulin to combat the roughly 20 carbs.

23:56 - Snick. Beep. 100. I like that number. I pop a bowl of popcorn to top of my day of rest. Today went from maybe to maybe not to not and I enjoyed the break. Hard core. It was time to rest. Now off to bed.

Morning People

Wednesday February 8, 2012

08:35 - Snick. Beep. 122 mg/dL. Another "no bad number" number for my blood glucose. Just another morning reading. There's a reason why serum glucose is usually higher in the morning and I'll talk about that in a moment. I have taken my Kindergartner to school. My 8 year old is still sick in bed. This morning she threw up in her bed and fortunately got it all in her puke bowl. It's time for breakfast and I thought my wife had gotten more eggs but there was only one left so I grabbed the left over homemade mac & cheese that was mixed with diced ham and frozen peas. I'm planning some Tabata intervals on the bike this afternoon, so I'm carbing up a little bit. (wink wink)

5 units of NovoLog insulin will handle my "no bad number" and my "WHITE DEATH" pasta as I get breakfast ready for my 3 and 1 year old. While I'm eating my power breakfast and feeding my 1 year old, I'm thinking about milk. I had some milk last night for the first time in a long time. I find it very interesting that we humans are the only mammals on this planet that continue to consume milk after being weened.

I'm not anti-milk but milk is not good for diabetics and when people learn that I never drink it they are usually surprised. Most people think you have to drink milk for the calcium. For your bones. I remind them that there's more calcium in a double serving of broccoli than in milk and none of the fat or lactose (sugar) and lots more fiber and other nutrition that milk just can't provide and about a quarter or less of the calories. Milk is not health food. Broccoli is health food.

Fitness Rule #4 - Eat a power breakfast

about 75 carbs

A lot of people skip breakfast. Of those who don't, the average amount of time spent preparing breakfast is just under 13 minutes. That makes sense. We are all pretty busy in the morning. The easiest way to make breakfast is to use the power window at your local drive-thru but when I say power breakfast I don't mean the power window breakfast. Let me get it all right out here up front: don't skip breakfast. Eat breakfast at the right time. Make it a good breakfast. Eat the right things at breakfast. Breakfast is a key component in good health and weight loss and maintenance. It's so important that it is Fitness Rule #4.

Don't skip breakfast - If you have diabetes, you probably know all about the "dawn phenomenon." If you don't, well you've probably never heard of it. Here's what happens. Usually the longest time between meals is from dinner to breakfast, mostly because you're probably asleep. I don't know about you, but I always think I'm hungry later at night. Sometimes my tummy even growls a bit. To take care of this, a lot of people snack before bed. I do too. I would encourage you not to. Eat less and I know it's hard.

about 120 carbs or more

If I don't snack, I usually go to bed thinking I'm a little hungry, or if my wife is watching the Food Network, a lot of hungry. You're probably the same way. Have you ever noticed though, that when you wake up in the morning you aren't hungry right then? Frankly it's easy to skip breakfast in the morning because you're usually the opposite of hungry. Why is that? It's the same reason why diabetics usually have blood glucose readings higher than they think they should be and sometimes abnormally high early in the morning.

As it gets closer to the time of waking up, your body's glands and organs get busy. The glands start secreting hormones that make the body produce its own sugar out of stuff stored up in your liver and your organs start pumping that sugar into your blood and through your circulatory system. This sugar gets in your cells and starts making energy. In other words, everything that is happening in your body before you even wake up is basically stealing foods thunder. Your body is doing food's job and sometimes it even makes you fat.

sugar with sugar on top filled with fatty sugar

At the same time, with the flow of sugar coursing through your veins, your pancreas secretes insulin from the beta cells to help transport that sugar into your body's cells. The trouble with insulin, if your pancreas can still make it, is that it acts like an over-reactive boss. It usually responds out of proportion to the need. Sometimes way out of proportion. All that over-reacting insulin floating around in your blood stream helps make you fat by storing any and all extra energy or fuel or food, however you want to say it, as fat in your fat cells. You become a fat factory.

This reactive fat factory effect is why it is so common to hear the myth that you should snack between meals. To help even out your glucose levels and insulin response. Well, we've already covered that that's a load of crap. If you eat small plate peace sign meals you won't need to snack. Your glucose and insulin won't be riding on the fat roller coaster. Interestingly this same thing usually happens when you "diet." Your body fights back using this same mechanism. That is why you plateau on any "diet." Remember diets don't work.



about 45 carbs x 3 = 135 carbs

 Eat breakfast at the right time - This is why as soon as you wake up you should drink at least 8 ounces of water. It turns off this phenomenon. Then if you can, eat your power breakfast within in the next 20 to 40 minutes. That will keep the phenomenon from kicking in again, this time with a vengeance. The longer you wait to eat, the more your body fights against your weight loss efforts. So remember: 8 ounces of water before putting on your slippers and then a power breakfast within 40 minutes.

Make it a good breakfast - This is the meal that is going to set the tone for your body for the rest of the day. So make it a good breakfast. A good breakfast does 5 things:

1. A good breakfast levels out your glucose and insulin response. It will stop your body from making it's own sugar in the liver and dumping it into your blood.
2. A good breakfast will set the tone for your digestive system for the rest of the day. Processing food through the body in an expedient fashion is a key to good health so let's start pushing things along first thing in the morning.
3. A good breakfast will nutrify your body. Fuel you up. Clear your mind and get you ready to face the day.
4. A good breakfast will help you actually eat less over the entire day. It will control your hunger and reduce those fattening impulses that nobody can resist.



perfect breakfast

5. A good breakfast gives you the opportunity to go big. A good breakfast should not be your point of attack for eating less. If you eat less here or scale things back too radically you will get fatter. Eat less as the day goes on. In other words, it's exactly the opposite of what most of us are doing right now. If you're going to have a big meal today, make it the breakfast meal.

Eat the right things at breakfast - So keeping everything that comes before this in mind, what are the right things to eat at breakfast? First it doesn't come from a drive-thru window. Second you probably can't eat it in the front seat of your car. Here is my personal idea of the perfect breakfast: a 4 oz portion of oven poached salmon fillet that was lightly peppered and drizzled with olive oil (after cooking). About 1/2 a cup of fresh green beans that have been sauteed with olive oil and minced garlic. If you want to spice things up throw in some diced fresh tomato and some red pepper flakes, or you can toss in 2 Tbsp of salsa. If you use the tomato, eat the rest of it raw for your second vegetable. If you want you can cover each slice with some mozzarella and a basil leaf. If no tomato, then up to a cup of squash, zucchini, broccoli or carrots that have been sauteed with the green beans. Water to drink.

this breakfast is not logical

Do you notice the distinct absence of any members of the "WHITE DEATH" food group. There is no potato (sugar), whole grain anything (sugar), oatmeal (sugar), granola (sugar with sugar), pasta (sugar), rice (sugar) wheat or flour or grains or bread of any kind (sugar, sugar, sugar and sugar). Remember we are trying to turn your own body's sugar factory off. We're trying to shut down the fat factory. You don't fight fire with fire and you don't pour gasoline on a fire hoping that that stupid habit is going to help the situation.

There's also a distinct lack of fruit (sugar) or fruit juice (sugar) or milk (sugar). When you're trying to shut down the fat factory, my opinion of the worst possible breakfast you could eat would go like this: a cereal bowl filled with any dry cereal on the market (it's going to be 2 to 2 and a half portions - read the label and weigh your food every so often) topped with a cup and a half of fatty sugar water laced with a little protein and infused with vitamin D. Milk in other words. With that, we're gonna amp up our healthiness and pile on a half cup of strawberries or whatever other kind of sugarberries you have on hand. Let's not forget a glass of orange juice. And since where going big let's get out the bigassiago cheese bagel and spread it with as small a portion of garden vegetable cream cheese we can tolerate.

In other words: A big bowl of sugar drowning in sugar and topped with sugar and a glass of sugar with some sugar as big as your head (everybody knows the bigger the bagel the better it is right?) and a little bit of fat. Do you think that is going to turn off your body's sugar factory? Do you think that is going to shut down the fat factory? No. It won't.

your fat factory in the morning

It's going to sound the insulin panic alarm eight times louder than it has to be sounded, flooding your bloodstream with insulin squiring out of your pancreas beta cells as fast as it can be squirted into your bloodstream. The fat factory is going to be in full swing. The fat factory is going to have to add another shift and move to double shifts and offer overtime to make all that fat. Instant insulin overload first thing in the morning. Nice plan right?. No it isn't.

Your pancreas doesn't react to protein and fat. And while the carbs in the vegetables that I recommend will eventually have to be dealt with as sugar, those carbs take a lot longer to process so they don't cause a glucose jump or insulin spike. It takes your body a long time to move protein through your system and break it down into the amino acids that your body needs and uses. And that protein in there is going to slow down the absorption of any carbs you have ate.

or try this variation for breakfast

So eat your protein in the morning. Give your body time to do a good job for you. If you're going to have your biggest meal for breakfast, make it bigger with a quality protein. Or more vegetables. Or both. I recommend cold water fatty fish or other seafood. Eggs are perfect as well. Next best normal protein is chicken. I'm not afraid of beef, pork and sausage products either. Don't be afraid to experiment. Another perfect breakfast food is avocado. But if you don't know what it is and you can't tell what's in it, it probably doesn't belong in your breakfast. And don't forget bacon. Bacon is the king of meat.

Remember the peace sign portion technique and the smaller plate. All of that applies to breakfast too. If you're going to use a bigger plate at all today, now is the time to do it. I want you to notice too that there is no part of my perfect breakfast that came in a box or wrapper or a package of any kind really. Every thing in this meal came from an outside aisle in the grocery store. Nothing was frozen. Nothing has much of a shelf life. The goal is to eat the right things. Boxes and wrappers are no bueno. Sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar and sugar is not a good way to start the day. Space energy does not come from Sugar Smacks. Did you know that over 30% of the milk produced in this country is used on dry cereal? Eat the right things at breakfast.

11:55 - Snick. Beep. 115 mg/dL. Small plate and peace sign portion technique. 4 ounces of low-carb diabetic loaf of meat covered with 2 Tbsp of salsa. 1/3 cup of steamed peas poured over 2/3 cup of broccoli and a 1/2 cup of homemade mac & cheese with diced ham and frozen peas. 37 carbs. 54% of which come from the macaroni. 4 units of NovoLog insulin.

make ahead for breakfast

15:22 - I get on my new(er) bike and head out for a 15 or so minute warm up ride and then some Tabata intervals. After 36 minutes I have ridden for 10 miles and gasped and grimaced for maybe 3 miles. My legs hurt in places I didn't know I used and my body is sore from yesterday. I've got to get home and shower because there is a pizza party to go to tonight at church.

17:35 - Snick. Beep. 121 mg/dL. The Tabata intervals took my body into survival mode. Super hard effort work on the body always seems to raise my serum glucose, much for the same reasons it's usually higher in the morning. So another "no bad number" number and it's time for a pizza party.

Pizza. The round square meal and one of the worse foods a diabetic can eat. Taken as components, a pizza doesn't look like it would be so bad, but when you form it all into a pizza the synergistic effect of what comes out in the pan can destroy my efforts at controlling my blood glucose. My plan tonight is moderation. I plan to eat less. This is going to be hard because I'm the guy that can eat a whole pizza and usually do. Fortunately there is salad too.

or make this ahead for breakfast

I start with 6 units of NovoLog insulin. Then I build a big salad, piled on the biggest paper plate at the party. I grab 2 of the  thinnest slices of combination pizza I can find and sit down and eat. I get another biggest plate full of heaping salad and eat that. My resolve crumbles a little and I go back for one more thinnest slice of combination but there isn't any. I grab a thinnest slice of cheese. I eat another biggest plate heaping salad and then I go back for a fourth. My resolve gives up all pretense of solidarity and I watch myself wander over and grab a cupcake with chocolate icing and a little candy heart on top. The heart is yellow and it says: "WOW."

23:56 - I'm done working and almost ready for bed. I inject my 15 units of Lantis insulin and decide to pop a bowl of popcorn. I eat that. I don't want another low tonight.

Sippy Cups Bounce Funny

Wednesday 8 February, 2012

02:27 - I'm in bed sleeping, I think, and my feet feel funny. My hands and fingers are tingling too and suddenly my body is washed over with a hot flash. It feels kind of like a niacin rush if you've ever experienced that. It's the epinephrine (or adrenalin) and the cortisol going to work. Suddenly I'm wide awake and sitting up on the edge of the bed. I find my slippers to put them on, dropping one while doing so. This one won't go on upside down. Damn. I try again. Success.

I head down stairs and I can tell I'm leaning a little too much to the left and I'm hoping that I hit all the steps. My head feels like it's only slightly connected to my body and my eyes feel like they're only slightly connected to my head. My hands are shaky as I start to sweat and I know I'm having a hypoglycemic low. My mind is fumbling through the house mentally trying to figure out what I can get to put about 15 to 20 grams of carbs back in my system. I know I'm out of granola bars and the creme sandwich cookies didn't really measure up last time. I can't quite think normal straight, only low straight, but I know I've got to get to my blood monitor and see where my blood glucose is at.

Snick. Beep. 46 mg/dL. Low. Generally, the medically accepted definition of hypoglycemia is a serum glucose level (the amount of sugar or glucose in your blood) below 70 mg/dL. So that's dangerously low actually and I've got to find 25 grams of carbs right now. I look in the pantry and remember that there are no 18 grams of carbs granola bars left. I see the cookies and decide to pass. I stumble around and get to the fridge and really don't know or can't remember what I'm hoping to find there.

I don't have a can of orange juice and right now I'm wishing like crazy that I did. I think about trying to get down to my office and find an energy gel or two but I don't know if I can make it down the stairs to the basement. I can almost watch my mind trying to calculate how much ketchup I would have to squizzle down to get 25 grams of carbs back in my blood stream. I can't find any apple juice and desperation is starting to creep in. Ah milk. Got milk? Milk is just like fatty sugar water laced with a little protein and infused with vitamin D. Does a body good. I grab the milk and in my first real lucid moment since I got out of bed, I notice the sugar free chocolate syrup on the shelf and grab it too.

I fumble around with a sippy cup until I realize it's a sippy cup and grab a real cup out of the cabinet. Sippy cups bounce funny. I'll start with 1 cup of milk. 16 grams of carbs. I squirt in my 2 Tbsp of sugar free chocolate syrup getting it all over the side of the cup and my thumb and on the counter. That is 4 grams of carbs. I think. I can't find my whisk. I'm looking all over the counter but I can't find my whisk. Where the heck is my whisk? I look in the dish drainer, by the toaster oven, by the coffee maker, in the sink, in the dishwasher and at last think to look in the utensil drawer. Bingo. I bumble over and sit down at the dining room table and I drink my chocolate milk.

02:38 - I look at the clock, because I need about 15 minutes to pass so I can check my blood glucose again. My chocolate milk is gone in about 5 sips. It is surprisingly very very good. I can't even remember the last time I actually drank milk. When you have diabetes, fatty sugar water laced with a little protein and infused with vitamin D is one of the worst possible drinks to drink. It sure tasted good though. I try to restrain myself and practice moderation, but instead I give up quickly and pour myself another 1/2 cup of milk and add 1 Tbsp of chocolate syrup, this time getting it in the cup.

I'm starting to get some coordination back. Something as simple as stirring up a chocolate milk isn't as difficult as it was a few minutes ago and I sip my seconds a lot more slowly this time. My hands are still shaky and I'm getting cold and starting to shiver as the sheen of sweat starts to evaporate off my upper body as I sit and watch the clock. I think about adding a mini Reece's Peanut Butter Cup to my attack on this hypoglycemic low. Can't be more than 8 grams of carbs in one of those little tiny pieces of candy right? It's a mini and besides, peanut butter is good for me. I surrender to the candy immediately.

02:50 - Snick. Beep. 72 mg/dL. Back going up. Better now. Time to get back to sleep. I head back upstairs to get back in bed. I feel normal as far as normal goes except my feet are itching and tingling like they always do when my blood glucose is dropping quickly. My serum glucose isn't dropping quickly anymore, in fact it's doing the opposite, but the itchy tingling in my feet is a leftover early warning system that got here early and is staying here late this time.

As I quietly head back upstairs I know two things for sure. I wish my wife would have woke up to help me because I like her reassuring presence and she makes me feel safe when she is taking care of me and I know that I over did it. I didn't eat less. I know that I over corrected. I should have held off on the seconds and the candy. I know I should have but I didn't. I know I'm going to be going back to sleep and sleeping through the rest of the morning with a serum glucose level higher than it should be. How nice would it be to get it just right just one time?

I'm going to have a "no bad number" in the morning instead of a good number. I should have ate less. A little plus and little. Right? I wish it wasn't going to be the case, but I'd rather sleep with blood glucose too high than too low. Too high might kill me, but it's going to kill me later. Or kill me sooner but later on in life. Too low might kill me now. Right now. Okay I accept the trade-off as I vow to practice more restraint next time. To eat less next time. To do a better job next time. To not be so scared next time. I know there will be a next time. I know it will happen again. I crawl back in bed next to my wife and hold her. I feel safe again and I quietly fall back to sleep.